A Bad Mother Moment

Today we had the primary program practice from 2:00-3:30. Decided to put Emily down for a nap after, instead of before. Wrong choice. Alternate screaming and crying the last half hour. Went outside to the grassy area for pizza at the end, then time to go. Emily right next to me, stopped to talk to a mother, where did Emily go? Maddie, Nick and I split up to look for her among the hundred or so kids. Can't see her. Is she in the parking lot? Walk out on the asphalt and look behind the cars parked closest, look down to my van parked far away at the west end. No Emily, and she never goes in the road. Look for her again, fast, I'm starting to snap at the kids now, mothers turning to look, I want to yell "I can't find Emily" but don't. Keep looking, she's not under the tables, she not there. I turn around in I swear slow motion and look at the van, there's little Emily next to it, about twenty cars in between me and her, and it's time to go and those cars have been leaving. I'm so, so, so thankful she's safe.