So, what would you do if you have seven-that's right-seven traps set in the basement and the mouse won't DIE! It's not like I can pull everything out of the storage room looking for it--it's truly not possible and I'd rather begin feeding the mouse Brie and hand-smashed peanuts before I did so much work.
Oh please, mouse, run over one of my traps. I cannot function with you in my basement.
Anyway, I just noticed to my shock and dismay that Cindy has not looked at my blog for a very long time. She never does comment much, but usually she at least looks. So I think I will use her lack of interest to my advantage--it's time for another story about Cindy.
The Girl Who Could Fly
Wait--That's the title of the book Maddie checked out of the library tonight. I hate it when I do that.
The Girl Who Did Not Like Her Sister and So Moved Far Away
Once upon a time there was a girl who did not like her sister. There were many reasons. The sister often borrowed the girl's socks, stretched them out, and then put them back in the sock drawer dirty and stinky. Each morning this girl had to study her socks to see if they had been worn yet; the people she worked with had begun calling her "Smelly Feet" because she had unintentionally worn used, smelly socks. Not original, but still hurtful.
Another reason she strongly disliked her sister was because she insisted on calling her at 6:00 in the morning to see if she was going to have waffles for breakfast that day. You see, her sister loved waffles and loved doing everything the same, like wearing the same clothes and doing her hair the same and eating the same stuff at the same time. But the girl was becoming tired and sick of waffles. She hated to lie, but lately she had just been having granola for breakfast and telling her sister that she was having waffles.
The last reason she couldn't stand her sister--I guess there were not many reasons she disliked her sister, just three reasons, it's easy to exaggerate-- was because her sister would not brush her teeth. This was unacceptable because the girl's husband was a dentist and could smell bad breath a mile away (he also could spot yellow teeth a mile away, but let's not brag).
So the girl moved to Alaska to get away from her sister and her irritating, sock borrowing, waffle eating, forgetting to brush ways.
And her sister was very, very sad.
And promised not to steal her socks, even when she forgot to do the laundry and she didn't have any clean ones of her own. She would just wear sandals. Even if there was five feet of snow outside. It was worth having frostbitten toes if she could have her sister back.
She promised not to wonder what her sister was eating for breakfast, and just eat her own waffles alone in silence.
She also definitely promised to brush her teeth at least twice a day in order to be less offensive to everyone, not just her sister.
And because this story has a perfect ending, her sister moved back. And they lived happily ever after.
The End
There will be more, Cindy, if you continue to slack in your blog reading duties.
5 comments:
Hello everyone, my name is Jordan. If you read this story, and I’m sure you did, you probably noticed that it never mentioned that the two sisters have a little brother. Well, they do, and his name is Jordan (have you made the connection yet?). He loves his two sisters, but they always seem to forget about him, so it is my job to remind them that he exists. In the past, I would have simply published a post requesting that Tiffany write a story that includes him and talks about how diligently he checks her blog, but alas, the good child is always overlooked. In addition, I know that the story would never be written. (For further evidence to this claim please see Cindy’s blog post entitled “For my sister…” and note my efforts to get her to create a post entitled “For my brother…” Also note that as of 9/5/08 @ 2:20 pm, Central time, such a post still does not exist. That’s right Cindy, I have NOT forgotten.)
Thus, (I use this word because I know Tiffany loves it) I employ a new and radical tactic: I will write my own story and post it in Tiffany’s comments! That’s right, I will go straight past the source and BECOME the source!
Unfortunately, writing this dramatic, yet effective introduction has taken longer than I originally anticipated and I am out of time, so the story will have to wait. BUT IT WILL COME…MWAH, HA HA!
I must say that I quite enjoy the family story-boarding. The story of the two sisters was very well-written. Thank you for the evening entertainment.
Did you tire of canned chili smothered burritos and move on to waffles?--j
Ohhh Tiffany! How I wish your story was true, then I could simply move home to Utah and we could live happily ever after! But, at it turns out I do really love waffles and I would never move away just because you stole my clean socks! (Of course I've never smelt any stinky breath). I have been trying to figure out a happy ending to your story all day and I have it. You need to just move to Alaska. I really don't think it would take much to talk Darren into it. I could probably have it accomplished by this evening. You would eventually adjust. Plus I would really, really like having my nieces and nephew’s up here. Who knows, maybe we could talk Jordan into it in a few years.
It makes me feel better knowing you really do love waffles.
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